I love my nieghbors.

I don't what made me think of this other than the song currently playing but... I love my nieghbors. They remind me of my family. I grew up in pretty much the totally oppisite world but they remind me that we're all basically the same.

They scream at each other daily. The mom/grandma threatens to take them out of this world or get them locked up daily. The dad is is mechanic who never seems to be home, but is loved. There is an older daughter living there trying to strengthen her wings and fly the coop with ther little boy and all the power struggles that come with those kinds of situations. There is another daughter and two other grandchildren around the same age. The kids are your average good "bad kids."

Two of my favorite moments so far:
+On Christmas morning 2009 I could hear the little girl screaming at the top of her lungs as she discovered a Nintendo DS under the tree. She was screaming: "Praise you Lord Jesus, Thank you, thank you, thank you." Blindfolded I would have been able to tell you if I was at home or at a Church of God campmeeting. It helped warm my December heart.
+The day Michael Jackson died I watched as the pulled into thier spot. The same girl had the most beautiful smile on her face as she sang his "PYT." She's maybe 11. Michael Jackson had never been acceptable, until that moment, in her lifetime and she was unabashedly celebrating him. I think for the rest of my life when I hear that song I will see that smile in the back of my mind. That thought alone makes me never want to experience Alzheimer's disease.

I'm seeing now that both these stories are really about her. I see myself in her I guess.
/random thoughts

We are intrepid. We carry on.

I've been feeling like blogging a lot more lately. I've missed my words. They've been in my head, but they haven't been here. They belong here and with you.

I find myself in a familiar place again. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, so I've been looking for a meaningful and logical diversion. I started an Accounting degree in a technical college after having trouble finding a Social Work job and discovering a great love for all things Accounting. I love accounting itself. I just think I'm ready to really graduate. I want to work. I want to work in accounting. I've always been a student. I will always be a student. I want to leave the world of formal education and enroll in the school of the world. The politics and bueracracy of acedemia have finally frayed my nerves and I have finally found something I am naturally good enough at that I don't think I need to sit in class to learn it. The world is currently dissagreeing with me, but I know someone out there will see my passion, trust it, and give me a chance.

Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic about the whole thing, but I feel like either I started this track too late or its a waste of time. I thought I had it planned out pretty well. I just realized that I based my plans on some bad brochures. I assumed the tech school would be a cheaper and more career oriented way to start. What I didn't know was that this school isn't as keen on internships as most tech schools I'm familar with, I'll only be able to transfer two classes to the Bachelor's degree, and these classes don't count toward the hours I need for my CPA. Fail.

I'm doing very well in the classes (except one) and I love what I'm learning, but it all feels impractical. I registered for another full load next quarter, but I'm reconsidering it. I don't want to transfer just yet to the 4 year school. But as I type this I realize I probably should. I want to bring an income home.

In a perfect world, I'd have an interview when I checked the answering machine tonight. I'd be hired next week. I'd finish these classes. Drop next semester. Get comfortable with my awesome new job's work load. Apply to 4 year school. Take a few online classes at a time. Get my CPA and conquer the world. But its not a perfect world. I can't justify staying at home searching for a job without credentials next quarter or transeferring and spending that much more $$$ on this degree. I also highly, highly dread another semester at this school. But I digress.

I am intrepid. I carry on.

Christmas Greeting From Soldiers

I've teared up a little while watching soldiers abroad tell thier families "Merry Christmas" through the various news sources, but today I had to quickly change the channel. I have no clue how I'm supposed to feel or think about the war in general. My heart hates it. I want my brother home. I want peace in the middle east. I want forgiveness and everyone to forgive. I don't want to burst out in tears every time I hear the words "Afghanistan," "casualty" (p.s. there is nothing casual about a fallen soldier, let's find a new word for that), "more troops" (I repeat "YOU LIE") or I see a train pulling a load of army jeeps traveling down the tracks so long that I can't find the end. Maybe I'm a pacifist or an idealist or a tenderheart, but I have to let this feeling out there. I don't think I can change anything or that I'm smart enough that I should, but I can't be the only one who feels this way. Meh...
Merry Christmas to my little brother and all the men and women fighting to keep all of us playing games on facebook and writing blogs and going to our 9-5s and wrapping presents and baking cookies and watching movies and sending texts safe and kissing our kids and free. Like my brother said about his birthday, I know it will be "different" but I hope you can find a little joy of the season in your heart, because you deserve it more than all of us.

The Red(collars) versus the Yanks

I squealed with delight last week when I noticed Ricky Gervais's face as an icon for an episode of The Office on my DVR... literally- squealed- out loud. Turns out the Brit episodes have made an American debut on Adult Swim. Oh happy day! This has prompted me to record my stream of consciousness comparison of my favorite comdedic show and share it with my blessed readers... enjoy! This list will likely grow and change over time like my check back again and again if you're nearly as obsessed as I am.

Round 1: David Brent v. Michael Scott
=Os I love Ricky Gervais and Steve Corelle equally (side note: I can quickly remember "Michael" and Ricky's names, but had to think a bit for "David" and Steve)
+BO David is a more of a badass/sinner... he doesn't just always play up silly stuff- he really does some hard stuff
-BO David's humor is more mean spirited
I see David as
+AO Michael Scott
***Winner*** Tie... how can you choose between the two most hilarious characters invented.

Round 2: Tim v. Jim
+BO Tim's pranks are much better and more frequent
+AO I think Jim is every red blooded American girls dream, plus he has had so much nerve in pursing Pam... I love that he just keeps on putting it all out there
***Winner*** Jim!

Round 3: Dawn v. Pam Beasley
***Winner*** Pam (but I think Dawn is more "real")

Round 4: Garreth Keenan v. Dwight Schrute
-BO Garreth is actually quite dull
+BO Garreth's character is intense which makes me love him(awkwardly)
+AO Dwight is great because he is totally spontaneous
+AO 2 words: BEET FARMER
***Winner*** Dwight

Round 5: Lesser charachters
-BO As there were very episodes of the English office charachter development suffered a bit
+AO I can see myself in every single Scrantonite. I've got an Accounting/people-hating Angela side, I can be clueless, goofy, and hungry like Kevin, I find myself sticking my foot in my mouth like Michael, the alcoholic grandmother began just like Merideth, Kelly and I could've a helluva snarky gossip boy crazed d-hall dinner together at Berry... you get the picture
+AO Every Scranton employee lends a necessary and
***Winner*** Scranton!

Round: Theme song
+EO Love Handbags and Gladrags!
+EO My idol Rod Stewart has a version of the song

Wishing Well

I'm reading a book called The Year of Wishes (or something like that) by a lady named something Oxenhandler. (I am feeling way too lazy to even google it, pathetic.) Its pretty good so far and has me wishing. She talks about making concrete things to symbolize your wishes like writing them down or building shrines to them. I've tried it out for a few little things here and there since I started reading the book last weekend. So far my results have been mixed, but I like the idea of wishing.

Heres a wish I just want to throw out there. I want a bike: Free. Adult size. I don't really care what kind, just would like a metal frame with a seat and two wheels. I'd love for Remi to have one of the really nice sit down ones for free too, but I won't be too extreme for my first public wish. I just want an exploration aid. I'm dreaming of taking long bike rides on the Silver Comet Trail during my free time. Maybe go all the way to Alabama, at least to downtown Rockmart and see new things.

You only get what you give.

Life is coming at me like a train full of tons of bricks. I am an odd decision maker. I never quite know what I want whether I'm trying to pick out a movie, a color, something to eat, a career, or a path. I usually let others pick it and go along for the ride. When I have to pick the choices always seem strange at best. That being said, I've made a shitton of decisions that make no sense to me today. I am the most introverted/antisocial person I know and I have a SOCIAL work degree. How I ever got away with that is beyond me. How I made almost all As in my classes at GSU while hardly speaking to a soul and locking myself up in my intern's office is totally beyond me. I want to say we were all wishful thinking at best. That choice is perhaps the strangest, but not the only weird choice I've made along the way. But as timid as I can sound I am a fighter to my core. Even though I never feel totally comfortable making decisions when I do I pick something and I follow through with it. I'm going down with this ship. (Well, maybe not the Social Work ship exactly.) This means more forks are just up ahead. Honestly, I will be tagging along some of them. I'm comfortable with that because I'm comfortable with one of the craziest decisions I've made in my past and fighting to see it through. If you want to join along on the journey and be a (less annoying) cheerleader please be my guest and if you don't that is fine too. I'm pursing happiness and I don't even have a clue what that really means right now. This will get interesting.

Conversation With a Ghost

I'm bored to death and haunted by the puzzle of the Conversation With a Ghost song for some reason so heres what I'm thinking:

Conversation (This song isn't two sided. So why is it titled conversation?) With a Ghost (I get the feeling this song is someone rereading a letter from a soldier whom they loved, old lover, or their father who has died while away)

I'll respond to you in letters.
Sorry so slow, sorry so few. (Slow because he's far away, few because he's busy)
So far I'm much better. (Maybe he was sick in his last letter.)
The complaints here have been few. (But this kind of makes me think it isn't a soldier. Also, would the complaints be coming from other people?)

How have you been?
Have you been to the races? (Horse races? Car Races? Track and field races?)
Did you take my mother? (If it is a father- taking your grandmother makes sense maybe, if it is an old lover- why are you still that close to his mother?)
Is your sister in braces? (Braces on teeth? I also get an antique feeling from this song that makes me think maybe these could be braces for polio? This is the father asking about younger sister to show he cares or the lover making small talk)
I wish I could have been there to see you through. (Is this about the braces? Could a sister in braces have been that bad? I feel like this is a masked statement about something else though. An abortion if it is a lover? Childhood/hard life if it is a father?)
Hey, are all those things you told me still true? (This makes me feel like its a soldier looking for something to hang onto for when he comes back, but it could still be a dad seeing if he's still loved.)

Do you remember that time It was cold in the park?
You were running a race. (The same kind of race as "the races?")
I was there on a lark.
Who would've thought that New York could be such a small town? (Just reminising on a time they reconnected. I'll take this verse at face value.)

Margaret is tired.
Let's let her get some sleep.
Bored with these letters.
Let her count her sheep. (Who is Margaret? The reader or someone near him while he's writing the letter telling him to turn off the light?)
So goodbye love, goodbye love.

I need to get a life right?