I've teared up a little while watching soldiers abroad tell thier families "Merry Christmas" through the various news sources, but today I had to quickly change the channel. I have no clue how I'm supposed to feel or think about the war in general. My heart hates it. I want my brother home. I want peace in the middle east. I want forgiveness and everyone to forgive. I don't want to burst out in tears every time I hear the words "Afghanistan," "casualty" (p.s. there is nothing casual about a fallen soldier, let's find a new word for that), "more troops" (I repeat "YOU LIE") or I see a train pulling a load of army jeeps traveling down the tracks so long that I can't find the end. Maybe I'm a pacifist or an idealist or a tenderheart, but I have to let this feeling out there. I don't think I can change anything or that I'm smart enough that I should, but I can't be the only one who feels this way. Meh...
Merry Christmas to my little brother and all the men and women fighting to keep all of us playing games on facebook and writing blogs and going to our 9-5s and wrapping presents and baking cookies and watching movies and sending texts safe and kissing our kids and free. Like my brother said about his birthday, I know it will be "different" but I hope you can find a little joy of the season in your heart, because you deserve it more than all of us.
